Hetalia Host club
by PinkCherry135
Summary: Does it really need a summery? Orabelle is the father! I am the mother. and Russia is the godmother! read enjoy review!
1. Starting today, you make Seven!

Hetalia Host club crossover!

Starring…

Germany as Tamaki

Italy as Haruhi

Austria as Kyoya

Russia as Mori

Sealand as Honey

France and England as Hikaru and Kaoru

Featuring…

America as Rengae

And Holy Rome as Bossanova!

Okay folks we've got a great show for you! Let's go!

****Cue theme song****

Moving through the halls is a boy of about sixteen; he has auburn hair that has a little curl that refuses to stay in place. He's new at the school, Hetalia academy and people don't know a lot about him. At his old school people used to pick on him and his brother, who is with a friend of their parents for the school year. This boy's name is Feliciano, he is Italian but lots of people at Hetalia Academy are from other countries so this is nothing special. Feliciano eats lunch away from the other students; actually he does almost everything away from the other students as he is terrified that he will get picked on again. Feliciano is looking for a quiet place to eat, when he finds them. The host club… it consists of six boys, each of them stunningly handsome. Feliciano does not know it yet, but he will make the seventh member.

{{{{{{Starting today, you make seven!}}}}}}

"Oh I'm sorry I didn't mean to interrupt! I'll leave!" Feliciano started to back out, but was stopped by a boy with blonde hair, blue eyes and a German accent.

"Wait! What's your name?" he practically shouts into Feliciano's face gripping his shoulders and shaking him.

"F-Feliciano V-Vargas…" the Italian stuttered

"Roderich! Why is this boy so Familiar?"

A boy with almost black hair and glasses replied in a similar accent, "Feliciano Vargas, age: sixteen, Grades: average, his Grandfather used to teach here… actually he taught your first year class, Feliciano must bear some resemblance."

"Ja!" He smiled widely "That's where I remember you from!"

"You know my grandpa? Oh good you had me fooled I thought you were a bunch of crazies for a minute!" It should be noted that Feliciano is very clumsy.

Another member of the host club with shoulder-length blonde hair brought his face too close for comfort to Feliciano's and tugged his perky curl. "Why is your hair so unkempt, mon ami?"

The Italians face exploded in a blush "P-please don't t-t ouch that!" he shot backwards into a very tall boy with hair so blonde it was almost white, he immediately creeped Feli out. The tall boy had a light colored scarf around his neck that Feliciano didn't understand since it was the middle of spring. In his attempt to evade the Tall be-scarfed boy he tripped over a small blonde boy who began crying.

"Ivaaaan!" The boy had a hint of a British accent. The tall silent creeper picked up the short boy and wiped the fat tears from his face.

"Calm down Peter the new kid didn't hurt you too bad." The tall one had what Feliciano recognized as a Russian accent. The small one stopped crying. Feliciano backed away from the strange scene and into a table, knocking it over. Stupid Italian. On this table sat a brand new tea set complete with a cream pitcher and little matching spoons. Which is now in a trillion tiny pieces on the ground.

"Oh, now you did it you Bloody wanker! That was going to sell for 14,000 pounds in an upcoming auction!" Feliciano thought about how many Euros that would be… it's a little over 16,000. "You're going to have to pay us back for that!"

"I-I don't have that much money!" the Italian had no Idea how to pay these weirdos back.

"Roderich, how can this poor child pay us the money he owes us?" The German said.

"Well that money was to benefit the club; I suppose that he could join our ranks and help us collect enough profit to repay us. What do you think?"

"Brilliant!" he dramatically sat in a chair that seemed to pop out of nowhere, "There's a saying you may have heard Vargas. When in Rome do as the Romans do. That's why, starting today, you make seven!"

"Huh?"

"I suppose we should properly introduce the rest of the club! Club, assemble!"

The Hosts sauntered over and stood in a not so straight line, and under the instruction of the German boy gave their names.

"Roderich Edelstein, pleasure."

"Francis Bonnefroy!"

"Arthur Kirkland, how do you do?"

"Peter Kirkland, I forgive you for squishing me."

"Ivan Braginski, I hope we can be good friends."

"And I'm Ludwig Beilldshmidt it's good to have you!"

"You guys can call me Feli."

"Now, someone fix what he's wearing before the girls get here!"

"Girls?"

The rest of the hosts giggled, this scared Feliciano. "You will see soon enough mon ami, for now let's see what we can do with the hideous clothes you wear." Francis grabbed Arthur and Feli and ran to a changing room. He gave Feli a clean uniform of good quality and instructed him to change out of the more normal clothes he was wearing. The Italian can pull off the outfit, and the Englishman and the Frenchman tell him so. Feliciano can sense some tension between the two (sexual tension?). The two make last minute adjustments to the Italian, just in time too, as the girls have arrived.

**My friend gave me the Idea so I guess technically she and I are the parents… yes there will be more, there will be much more! KTHXBAI~! ^v^**


	2. The Art of Hosting

The Hetalia Host club.

***** Cue theme song*****

The other hosts have been doing this for a while. After the girls are welcomed into the room and Feli is introduced to them, they scatter jumping on random hosts. About 7 girls Jumped Feli right away.

"Ciao Ladies! I'm new at this Maybe if you could tell me how you like it?" that simple sentence resulted in almost all of them squealing.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{The Art of Hosting.}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

"WE'LL LIKE IT HOWEVER YOU DISH IT OUT, FELICIANO!" Feli smiled at them and it seemed he was a natural, almost everything he did resulted in a squeal.

The German known as Ludwig watched him from his spot where he was supposed to be entertaining his flock."It's like he's done this before…"

"I hope you didn't forget about us Ludwig…?"

"Of course not!"

Meanwhile with Roderich…

"So, who's the new guy Roddy?"

"He's an intern, in a sense. But you ladies don't mind, do you?" the girls shook their heads "Great, because he'll be at that dance next week, speaking of which… Can I count on your Ladies attendance?"

"Will you be there?"

"Naturally,"

"What will you be wearing?"

"As of right now, nothing…"

"…SIGN US UP!"

Meanwhile with Francis and Arthur…

"Um… s-so that Dance next week, I was wondering, Francis, would you save a dance for me?"

Arthur made a noise similar to "PFFT." Interrupting the Frog's response, "He couldn't dance properly if his life depended on it."

"Are you willing to bet Mon Cheri?"

"Ha! Fifty Pounds!" (That's a little over 80 bucks in American, for those of you who are wondering)

"You're on, Limey!"

"Bring it On Frog!" The two then stand up and attempt a ballroom dance position and soon find it impossible to figure out who will lead and who will follow when they both attempt to place their hand on the other's hip. "I'll lead, of course. You, in the role of the Lady will place your hand on my shoulder."

The Frenchman snickered "No, no Mon Cheri your hand Belongs on my shoulder and I will dance you around until you cry!"

Arthur eventually takes the role of the Lady and Orders the Frog to dance Francis begins the dance and soon finds Arthur's knee in his crotch. "And now your life depends on it." The Brit cockily breathes in his face.

"OH! THEY ARE SOO CUTE! A LOVER'S EMBRACE! EEEEEEEE!" The girls have it in their heads that the two have a gay relationship, where this was started, even I don't know and I wrote this nonsense.

Meanwhile with Ivan and Peter.

Peter usually entrances the girl's with his cuteness alone today he isn't feeling too well (Probably from getting smashed by a clumsy Italian) and somehow, Illness only adds to his charm especially with his tall slightly scary Russian friend caring for him.

"I hope I'm not contagious… *cough* Uh oh, Ivan, what if I get one of our guests sick?"

"Well, I can't Imagine, that Ludwig would be too happy. But I think the important thing is that you take it easy, a lot more people would be upset if you hurt yourself… especially me. (They might be playing it up a bit… okay a lot.)

The girls shout the tears welling in their eyes, "SOO CUUTEE! Get better, Peter!" Little pink handkerchiefs come out of seemingly nowhere to dab at tears and blow noses.

At the end of the day…

"I'm Impressed, Feliciano, the girls seem to have taken quite a liking to you. It shouldn't be too hard to pay us back at all."

"That's great! I'm still very confused, exactly how is this educational or important in any way?"

The Rest of the host's collectively gasp, the last guy that had told Ludwig that the club wasn't important… He ain't around no more.

"NIEN! That Attitude is Unacceptable! If you're a host, even if you're French you're supposed to try very hard to make Girls happy!"

"Hmm, okay! Today was fun anyway!" I'll see you guys tomorrow!

**So this was kinda like a filler chapter. (sorry Whammy!) most of the ideas I have dont happen until after America becomes the new manager! I will be quick to update because I have TOO much fun writing this. let me know what you think, thats why I installed that nifty little button down there!  
>Stay Prussian! ^3^<strong>


	3. Attack of the Video game Addict!

*****************Cue Theme music***********************

The door to a dark room opens the only light coming from a flat screen TV.

"Hi, honey, what, are you up to?" a woman's voice asks from just outside the door.

"Mom, I've been fighting Zombies for the past four days. What do you think I'm doing?"

"Er, fighting Zombies?"

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Attack of the videogame addict}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

"Pshyeah~! But this ones the boss! He's invisible and all I can see is his flaming chainsaw and he's standing in radioactive goo so I can't get close to him! Plus I'm almost out of ammo and he keeps eating my ammo packs!"

"Okay, whatever you say son." His mother shook her head "Your father's home from his trip come say hello… please?"

"Yeah, yeah mom I'll be there in like two seconds! Honest!" the boy shouted from his chair

**ten minutes later**

"Hey dad! Where'd you go this time and what did you bring me?" the boy said before shoveling food into his mouth

"I went to visit and old associate of mine, and I brought you back a picture." His father said sliding a colorful photo across the table. The food that had been recently stuffed into the boys mouth fell onto the table as he examined the photo.

"THAT'S HIM!"

"Who?" the boy's parents looked at him

"RANDALL EDWARDS! RE for short. He's, he's a GOD at killing Zombies~! DAD! You met Randall Edwards!"

"That boy's parents are old friends of mine. And for the last time Zombies don't exist!"

"That's what they want you to think dad! THAT'S WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO THINK! I have to meet RE! Because when the Zombie apocalypse comes… were gonna need good fighters that can fight against the Alien Invasion!"

His parents smacked their foreheads "Aliens?" they asked together

"I've told you guys a million time they do exist I SAW one with my own EYES! Anyway! That's not the point! Point is… I HAVE to meet Randall Edwards!" He shouted

"Okay then next time I go out there, I'll let you come too." His father smiled

"NO! I HAVE TO MEET RANDALL EDWARDS SOONER THAN THAT!" He stood from his chair waving the picture in his hands around like it was a winning lottery ticket "And I can't have you NONBELIEVERS around to screw with my mojo~! He Zoomed out of the room snatching a bag and stuffing clothes and video games in it. "I'll see you after the Zombie apocalypse if you survive!" and boarded a plane and was off.

**later**

The hosts are up to their usual tricks again. Feliciano has only discovered very recently that the Hosts frequently cosplay. Granted this is ridiculous… yet Feliciano takes part in it.

Today the hosts are dressed up as butlers, I know… right?

Feliciano is doing fabulous with the ladies he truly is a natural.

Ludwig entertains the ladies while keeping a 'close eye' on Feli.

Roderich sells stuff to the ladies.

Francis and Arthur hated each other and for some weird reason it made the girls squeal.

Peter and Ivan confuse me. And I don't really know what they're doing… Feeding each other, I think.

Ludwig spots a boy who looks shy hiding by the door, and runs to greet him.

"Come in! We don't judge here! Especially me…"

"Yeah! Come in we don't bite!" Feli said from his position

"Oui! You can be as gay as you want here!" Francis said locked in a 'lovers embrace' with Arthur, who muttered

"You would know…" and proceeded to tighten his fingers around the frog's neck

The boy looked like a deer in the headlights he was thinking _'Gay? Where did they get that!' _

"ROOM TEMPERATURE! Other than Randall (The God of killing any and all zombies!) all of your characters are ROOM TEMPERATURE! Like seriously where's the action! This is soo lame you're all a bunch of regular guys! There has to be action! There has to be suspense! There has to be conflict! There has to be plot, background, and resolution! Love triangles! Stuff like that!"

The other hosts look at this mystery boy telling them what to do, like he belonged in the Funny Farm (And in all honesty, he probably does.)

"Oh all of you fools stop crowding the boy." Roderich said making his way over.

The boy imagined him with a gun in each hand, goggles instead of glasses and covered in Zombie blood.

"RANDALL EDWARDS!" The boy said before jumping on Roderich "I love you, man! No homo, but I love the freaking living crap outta you!"

"Uh alright, could you please remove yourself from me?"

"Of course! Uh RE could I possibly, maybe… ask you a question?"

"Go ahead," Roderich regained his composure and dusted himself off.

"So I was wondering how the Helsinki am I supposed to beat the Invisable radioactive flaming chainsaw guy that keeps eating all my AMMO PACKS!

"Come again?"

"HOW DO I BEAT THE INVISABLE RADIOACTIVE FLAMING CHAINSAW GUY THAT KEEPS EATING ALL MY AMMO PACKS! I've died like billion times!"

"I'm afraid I can't understand a single word that is falling from your mouth… perhaps we should start over, what is your name?"

"OMFG where did I leave my manners! Alfred F. Jones, Zombie Exterminator, Hardcore Alien Enthusiast and your #1 fan!"

"Mmmkay, Roderich Edelstein, I think you may have me confused for someone else."

"No man! I LOVE you! I play you all the time! Ever since I played the demo, I've been totally hooked! Like playing the other guys makes me feel like I'm cheating on you!"

Roderich sat down "I see so you Like this character profoundly and are forcing that love onto me. I suppose this character is a Zombie fighter…"

"I need you to whip out all your guns and stuff like that so you can teach me how to fight Zombies as good as you do!"

"Er, Roderich you don't really have guns do you?" Peter asked

"Of course not. But we have to keep our guests happy, isn't that right Ludwig?"

Ludwig was in the corner… sulking (no trust me you can picture it, I know you can.)

"What's wrong with him?" Ivan asked innocently

"Hes upset, because mommy was keeping a secret from daddy…" Francis said

"Who says I would be the woman? Ludwig is a lot fruitier than I am." Roderich defended himself.

"Anyway! Don't worry about it RE the Zombie Apocalypse won't be for a while, lets go back to fixing these Idiots characters" Alfred said turning his attention to the rest of the group who had by now gathered.

"YOU!" Alfred pointed at Peter "You used to be a Prostitute but you've turned over a new leaf!"

"What's a Prostitute?"

"YOU!" Alfred directed his finger at Ivan "You Love this little guy and would give your life for him but you are also super self-conscious and don't know how to tell him so you show your love by encouraging him in his change!"

Ivan cocked his head… "Huh?"

"YOU!" Finger.

"AND YOU!" Another finger, Alfred pointed at Arthur and Francis "You two are long lost fraternal twins separated at birth, and you are both MADLY in love with each other!"

"WHAT! NO!" Arthur screeched!

"But we aren't… twins…"

Alfred ignored them "YOU!" He pointed at Ludwig "you actually have an inferiority complex that you hide from the world you are afraid that everyone will hate you and you secretly want to take over the world!"

*Gasp*

"YOU!" He pointed at Feli "you are in a raging battle within yourself between your religion (die-hard Catholic) and your Undying love for that guy!"

… O.o

"And Randall!" he pointed again at Roderich you are perfect just keep being awesome!"

"Will do." Roderich replied

"Oh and by the way… I'm going to be taking control of this operation! From now on I'll be Alfred F. Jones: Zombie Exterminator, Hardcore Alien Enthusiast, R.E's #1 Fan, and your NEW MANAGER!"

**Thanks for reading! Now were getting started! Sorry it took so long! EnjoY and expect the next chappie out soon!**


	4. the 'Twins' get along

**WARNing :Yaoi, FrUK, And England in a Dress! **

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Cue theme music}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

"Next we have to see about some clothes to fit your parts!" Alfred said Very heroically, come to think of it he said everything very heroically. The rest of the hosts are generally confused. This was the second day under Alfred's management. The ones who are receiving the most "revision" are Francis and Arthur.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{The 'twins' get along!}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

"What the bloody hell is this!" Arthur shouted at seeing his outfit for today.

A French maid outfit. (What is wrong with me?)

Two sizes too small. (Why do I torture my poor England like this?)

And it had cat ears and a tail. (I think I just want to see him dress up.)

"You don't really think you'll get me to wear it! Do you?" he said starting to walk away.

"WAIT! Dude, at least see what everyone else is wearing! Then you can go cry in a corner like a boring English dude."

Arthur Hmphed and stayed to see what degrading outfits the idiot was forcing upon the others.  
>Francis, Ludwig and Ivan all got suits and Cat ears.<p>

Arthur, Feli, and Peter all had maid outfits and cat ears. The suits were color coded to match their partners dresses.

Arthur couldn't help but notice his dress (which he wouldn't wear if you paid him) was the same color as Francis's.

Arthur maintained his scowl as he cast a glance at Francis who had put on his outfit and was strutting around rather handsomely in it. Arthur mentally slapped himself for thinking that Francis was the least bit handsome. Feliciano and Peter had also changed they actually looked rather adorable.

Arthur still wasn't going to change. Not even if his life depended on it.

"Alright, so I like color coded it so everyone knows who the pimps and hoes are."

"Hoes?" Asked Peter Innocently.

"You, Feliciano, and Mr. Grumpy pants over there who refuses to accept that he's a bottom."

"Bottom?"

"Catcher."

"Catcher?"

"Look, if you don't know I'm not gonna tell you. Just type yaoi into Google images." Alfred said turning his attention to the rest of the group.

Arthur spoke up, "Are you trying to imply that there is something wrong with my sexuality sir?"

"Naw Dude I'm pretty sure you're a male. I'm just trying to explain to the little guy that you are as queer as a three dollar bill. Any way so RE and I are the bosses of ya'll we have costumes too." They had nice looking suits with vests, Top Hats and Spats. Arthur stormed out quite miffed.

Within a few minutes everyone else had changed but Arthur was still rock solid in his resolution. At this point Arthur was drinking tea and sulking just a bit. (Well, more than a bit.)

"What is the matter Mon Ami?" Francis asked innocently

"Oh I think you know sir!"

Francis nodded understandingly. "Would you feel better if we traded?" He asked politely.

Arthur contemplated for a brief moment How francis would look in the dress and decided this was far better than him having to wear the stupid outfit. "Trading would be alright. Thank you."

"Under one condition, you have to wear the dress for thirty seconds."

"The Hell if I will! I'm not wearing that stupid frilly dress in front of the others!" Arthur screeched.

"You will only have to be under the eyes of Moi! Sil vous plait mon cher." Arthur thought again and still decided this would be better than having to wear it all day.

"Alright fine." The Brit resigned.

***In the Changing room***

"Come on Arthur I swear on my sweet mother's grave I will not laugh!"

"You're a liar and your mother isn't even dead!"

"You're right, now let me see!"

Arthur came from behind the curtain and stood in front of Francis who wasn't laughing but he was gawking just a bit. (Well, more than a bit.) The outfit was a light blue, with a little lace head band and white knee highs with bow on them. It really is very adorable on the Brit.

"Ah, Mon Cher, tres jolie! Mon petite femme!" Francis giggled lightly.

"That does it I'm taking it off!" Arthur said making a move for the hem of the skirt.

"NO!" Francis snatched Arthur's hands away and held them tightly in his own. "First, you promised me Thirty seconds!" Francis used Arthur's hands to guide him around in a circle admiring every aspect of the slightly short dress.

"Let me GO!" Arthur attempted to wriggle out of the Frenchman's grasp unsuccessfully.

Francis thought for a moment and decided he would need a third hand to follow through with his current plan. Instead the Frenchie put both of Arthur's wriggling hands in his left and held it above the Brit's head. "vous regardez Arthur très joli, je pensez que je voudrais vous embrasser. en fait je pense que je ferai plus que vous embrassez." Arthur was quite confused. Francis placed his lips over Arthur's. While the Brit was in shock, Francis put his now free right hand on the back of Arthur's thigh and brought it to rest on his hip. Francis parted the kiss he had very much began to enjoy "Could I have a picture, sil vous plait, mon cher?"

"Who the bloody hell do you think you are? No you CANNOT have a picture of me! If you don't let me go I swear to god I'll-" Francis silenced him again.

"Oh mon cher, you be happy to hear thirty seconds are almost up." Arthur was slightly breathless and blushing fiercely.

To say that Arthur hated Francis was an understatement. To say that Arthur rather enjoyed Francis's hands and lips was another. As Francis began to release the Brit Arthur used his now free hands to their lips together.

****With the others****

"Where are the 'twins'?" Ludwig asked. (Everyone has begun referring to them as the twins) The hosts were almost open for business and Arthur and Francis were nowhere to be found. There was a tug on Ludwig's jacket he turned to see a short frilly Peter. "Yes?" He asked the perpetrator.

"Did you check the changing room? That's where I last saw them." Peter offered proudly Ludwig rushed off to find them. By this time Francis and Arthur were both decent.

"Bonjour, Boss." Francis said innocently.

"What the Scheiße is going on in here?" Ludwig asked.

Arthur blushed and went mute.

Francis stammered for the right answer "We were, um I was just convincing Arthur to wear his costume." Francis stated, Ludwig seemed satisfied with that answer.

"Ja, You and Peter look very cute in your outfits but doesn't Feliciano's just look the best!"

Francis and Arthur agreed fervently.

**Thanks for Reading I know it took forever to get this chapter and it's not because it was difficult to write I've just been busy with my other FF account. ^w^**


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